It should be ‘just another ride’
It’s a Friday night. You’ve had a few drinks, hung out with friends, and you made the smart call to not drive.
Maybe you’re new in town and still learning the streets, so, you order a Lyft.
Waiting at the curb for your ride to arrive, you glance at your phone to confirm the car’s description. Silver Toyota Camry; license plate matches — looks good.
A driver rolls down their window and yells your name.
You tell your friend goodbye and climb in the backseat. “Text me when you get home,” your friend demands.
The ride starts off normally. The AC is going, radio playing at a low volume, and you occasionally hear a ‘ding’ from your driver’s phone. The driver is friendly enough. He offers you a water, makes small talk. You grip your phone, discreetly checking the map. You want him to know you’re watching; but not to provoke him, just in case.
He asks you how your night has been so far, and you tell him. He asks about your friend, your plans for the rest of the night. You get lost in the small talk and then realize you haven’t checked the map in a while. You look down at your phone, and it appears he’s taken a detour.
You think: “Maybe he knows a way I don’t.”
Still, a lump starts to form in your throat. Then, the inquiries start to get a little more personal.
“So, where do you work?”
The question catches you off guard, but you feel obligated to answer. You don’t have time to deflect, and lying doesn’t feel right either. You tell him, hoping he’ll forget or move on.
“That’s nice,” he replies. “That’s by the Walmart, right? Do you work the day or night shift?”
Now you really want to change the subject.
And you want to get home already. You can’t tell if you’re still on route. It looks like you’re not. Things get tense and quiet in the car.
Then you remember the plan you made with your brother.
He told you to use it if you ever felt uncomfortable in a situation like this. You text him a car emoji and he calls immediately. You put him on speakerphone: “Hey sis, where you at? We’re all waiting for you.”
“I took a Lyft. I should be there soon! Tell Dad not to worry. I know how protective he gets.”
“Good. Are you safe?” he replies.
“Yeah, I think so. I’m in a silver Toyota, license plate ____. I think we’re going a different way home though.”
At this point during the call, the driver quietly makes his way back onto the map.
Your body starts to calm, just a little, as relief trickles back into the car. But you stay vigilant. As soon as you recognize where you are, your hand is on the door handle. You won’t feel safe until you’re inside your home with the doors locked.
Eventually, the ride slows to a stop outside your apartment. You get out as fast as you can and wait until the car is out of view to go inside.
This time, you got lucky. And it’s possible that the driver’s intentions really weren’t bad, but the truth is that you never really know. Women shouldn’t have to be rehearsing safety plans every time they get in a car for a ride, but they do.
And sometimes, even the safety features we rely on, like matching with a woman driver, get bypassed. You check the app, expecting a woman driver. But a man pulls up instead.
“I’m covering for my sister,” he assures you.
At this point, the ride is already right in front of you, you’re late, and you feel pressured to take the ride as the driver grows impatient. So, you get in the car despite your discomfort.
‘Rideshare’ Apps and Sexual Misconduct
This experience is all too common — especially for women — where fear is an unfortunate but anticipated part of the ride.
And it’s not just based on instinct. It’s backed by thousands of reports of assault and attempted assault, and it’s part of a larger problem; one that requires action to protect passengers and riders alike.
As rideshare has become common in both urban and rural areas, experiences with these popular apps differ, with tens of millions of rides being taken on any given day.
From 2021-2022, Uber received over 2,600 reports of sexual misconduct, including:
- 1,401 reports involving non-consensual touching of a sexual body part
- 338 reports involving non-consensual kissing of a sexual body part
- 285 reports involving attempted rape
- 335 reports of rape
Similarly, from 2020-2022, Lyft received nearly 900 reports, including:
- 112 reports of non-consensual kissing of a non-sexual body part
- 450 reports of non-consensual touching of a sexual body part
- 121 reports of non-consensual kissing of a sexual body part
- 110 reports of attempted rape
- 106 reports of rape
In response to these alarming numbers, Uber and Lyft both implemented new safety measures.
- Industry Sharing Safety Program: Allows companies to share information on known offenders to prevent rehiring.
- Women+Connect (Lyft): Matches women and nonbinary riders with similar drivers for added safety.
- Women’s Preferences (Uber): A similar program rolling out in select states in 2025.
- RAINN Training (Both): Mandatory driver education on sexual violence prevention.
- Policy Reform: Lyft ended forced arbitration for sexual assault claims in 2018.
These safety features are better late than never – but they should have come sooner.
The safety of both drivers and passengers should be non-negotiable, and we should continue to demand better until women no longer need to formulate and rehearse safety plans just to make sure they get home safely.
For more information on rider safety: https://www.selfdefenderkit.com/blogs/safety-blog/rideshare-safety-checklist-2025
Data on “rideshare” safety, more statistics from Helping Survivors.
Further reading by Madame Noire.
