Commentary and Opinion
A voice is heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping. Rachel is weeping for her children; she refuses to be comforted, because they are no more. – Jeremiah 31: 15
Any untimely death is a great loss—sudden death of the young is especially so. But the loss of a child is the greatest suffering the human heart can bear. Sometimes it cannot bear it. That compounds tragedy on top of tragedy and there is no end to the suffering.
The death of so many young children in Texas at once, in such a tragedy as took place over the 4th of July weekend, is a wound that will never heal—not while any of our little ones are still held in living memory.
This Tragedy Is Ours
That is not to lessen the loss of all the adults who died, some of them attempting to save our children. It also does not lessen the numberless tragedies and loss of life that are occurring around the world every day.
But the children, the deaths of these children, our children, make us rightly question the existence and justice of a god more than the others. After all what did these little ones ever do to merit such a fate?
But this is our tragedy. It happened in Texas. It happened in a place generations of us remember fondly from our own childhood. The place where this happened raised us. It helped make us what we are. Then it killed our own children who we entrusted to its care. In a way the land turned and devoured its own grandchildren and great grand children. And it did so indiscriminately and with reckless abandon like a mythical god in a Greek tragedy.
To Ask Why Is To Be Human
Being human we ask why. Why did this happen? Why did one child live while another died? I read about the two sisters whose bodies were found still holding hands and I break down.
To some, questions and criticisms of our government and our leaders have no place in a time like this. They have a point. To every thing there is a season. There will be a time and a place for questions and answers. Accountability, if any is necessary, comes later, not in the midst of the crisis. Not while there is hope that even one of the lost ones might be found alive.
That does not make persons asking those questions evil, callous or indifferent. It is good that we have journalists, public officials, and individual persons asking those hard questions. We have a need to ask those questions that has nothing to do with scoring political or religious points, assigning blame or finding a scapegoat. Asking and answering those questions is also a part of grieving.
There is no getting over this. There is no looking at this and trying to understand it dispassionately or without emotion. We understand events like this not just with reason, but with our emotions as well. We must suffer and weep—not just as parents, friends or family members of those we lost–but as neighbors and fellow citizens. The entire state is weeping now and it will not be comforted.
Questions Are Part Of Grief
Texas should never be comforted–not now, not next year, not in 10 years or beyond. Weeping is part of grief. So is asking questions. Let us hope our leaders will not deny us the truth and the answers we seek.
My limited experience with death and tragedy has been that dealing with grief in a healthy way requires that we ask our questions, and that our questions be answered. Even if in the end there is no satisfactory answer, our struggle in seeking those answers helps us deal with great loss. This is as true for the state as it is for individuals. Failing to ask the questions, or failing to wrestle with the answers, or lack of answers, will only prolong our grief.
We long for and need answers in times such as this, if for no other reason than to try to make sense of it for ourselves. If we ignore those questions we are denying ourselves and others a critical part of a healthy struggle with grief.
We should always seek truth and accountability if that is necessary, while recognizing that these will not lessen our grief or bring back what we have lost. Seeking that accountability is just as much a part of grief as is weeping. The knowledge that one’s loss and grief made a difference by making sure this does not happen to another child in the future can also be very healing
Do not shy away from the weeping now, and do not shy away from asking questions and getting answers when it is time. Texas weeps with you, and will never be comforted, nor should she be.
