LIVING BETTER
Bustling streets glow with strings of lights.
They stretch around trees and invite family photographs. Cheerful music plays throughout each local shop, reminding us that the holidays have arrived.
That can make it easier to forget that not everyone experiences this season the same way.
For some, winter brings with it painful memories, isolation, and depressive fatigue, it’s important to remember that behind all the twinkling lights, quieter truths exist for some people, and they also deserve space in our community.
The Hidden Experiences
There are many reasons a person may feel left out, “othered,” or isolated during the holiday season. These hidden experiences are often overlooked, yet they shape the season for many of our friends, family, and neighbors.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
Shorter days and less sunlight can trigger depression in people with this disorder. For some, even getting out of bed is a struggle – let alone hosting a full house.
Grief
Perhaps the most relatable yet still the hardest to talk about, grief often intensifies during the holidays. These days can be some of the hardest to endure, whether alone or with others.
Isolation and Loneliness
Some don’t have anyone to gather with. They may live in a new city or no longer have family or friends nearby. Those empty chairs take up a lot more space in seasons meant for gathering.
Financial Stress
Some families can’t afford the holiday experience they want to give their children or their spouses. This can mean working through the holidays or feeling disappointment during what are meant to be magical moments.
Non-celebration
Not everyone celebrates Christian traditions. December can feel overly commercial, with stores closed and friends busy. Even favorite restaurants will likely be closed, leaving the season feeling empty and directionless for some.
The Hidden Pressures
Whether a person celebrates or not, there exists a unique underlying pressure felt by most during this season.
It can seem like, if you’re not having the best time of your life, you’re not doing it right.
At the same time, if you’re not pulling your hair out from stress, you aren’t doing enough.
So, which is it?
Are holidays a time to relax and be grateful, or are we meant to stress and host as many people as we can?
I believe there is room for both. And that there is no wrong way to experience this season.
Other Ways to Experience the Season
- Create a personal Ritual – journaling, walking dogs at the shelter, revisiting a favorite film, or enjoying a hot tea and your favorite book.
- Seek community in unexpected places – sometimes the connection we need can be found where we least expect it, reminding us we aren’t as alone as we thought. Consider reaching out to your book club, your gym buddies, or volunteer with your favorite local nonprofit. You might find that others share similar experiences.
- Allow yourself to step back, reflect, and enjoy alone time. Honoring solitude is one of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves. And sometimes that quiet peace is what we need to feel reconnected.
- This season, the streets will continue to glow. The music won’t stop playing. But maybe we can also make room for these other experiences in our community – and in our hearts.
