A DAY IN THE LIFE OF …
For Illianna Cabrera, death is a part of daily life. Illianna is dual licensed as a Funeral Director and Embalmer at Johnson’s Funeral Home in San Angelo. She has been in the field for nearly eight years.
Path to the Profession
Illianna has known since her early teens that she was interested in the world of funeral directing. As she puts it, the field is “a nice mix of science and helping people.”
She started out as a receptionist at Johnson’s Funeral Home and has since climbed the ladder to leadership. In her career, she has helped lay to rest more than 460 people.
Illianna was surprised to be welcomed into the field. Preconceived notions led her to believe funeral directing was hard to get into – that perhaps you “had to know someone” to get your foot in the door. But to her surprise, this was not her experience.
“It’s not the 1800s anymore, so it’s a pretty welcoming field – a lot more than it used to be.”
With that in mind, she notes that the field is always changing – what certain families or faiths would have wanted years ago may not reflect their wishes today.
“You have to be able to adapt in this field,” she said. “Or you’ll be left behind.”
Misconceptions and Authenticity
Illianna says there are other misconceptions about funeral homes that people tend to believe – like the belief that funeral homes are “just out to make money”. In her experience, this has not been the case.
She said, “With any profession, there’s going to be bad actors. But with funeral service, people are in it because they care. And it has a funny way of weeding people out that don’t need to be there.”
Illianna believes funeral service attracts people who are genuine, because families can sense authenticity.
“It’s kind of hard to fly under the radar if you’re not in it for the right reasons. People can tell when you’re not being genuine.”
She emphasizes that, in close-knit cities like San Angelo, your funeral director is likely involved with every step of the process.
“We’re such a small but growing community where your funeral director more than likely is also the person who is not only handling the arrangements but also went to your house to pick up your loved one and is also going to be taking them to the cemetery. We’re there from start to finish.”
A Day in the Life
Illianna’s role comes with diverse responsibilities.
Whether she’s answering phone calls, arranging services, handling logistics, transporting bodies, or putting batteries in 260 candles – a very specific example she offered – there is always something to be done.
“You don’t necessarily know what you’re walking into that day,” she said. “And if you’re on call, you have to be ready for anything.”
Illianna’s duties not only come with the need for attention to detail – she also must strike a certain balance and harmony for people who are grieving, honoring the wishes of the deceased and those of the surviving family. And this comes with the need for strong communication skills.
“You don’t just want to be harsh with people, you know? They’re going through a difficult time, so you want to be gentle with your words and make sure you’re being respectful but also getting the information that you need.”
Challenges and Rewards
Early in her career, Illianna learned that there are certain things you can’t learn in a textbook.
In the height of the Covid 19 Virus, she says she was “baptized by fire”, when the funeral home was busier than she’s ever seen it.
“Nothing says ‘let’s start a new career’ like a pandemic!” she said. “So many people were passing away… you just had to get in there and take care of them so their families could take care of each other.”
At one point, the funeral home had nine families at one time. And following these services – a baby’s funeral.
Despite all the challenges, she believes her work is worth it. Illianna is especially fulfilled when she sees the difference her support can make for grieving families.
“Whenever you make it through and you have people – like families – give you hugs and tell you, ‘thank you so much’, or ‘you made this so easy’, it really is worth all the stress.”
She appreciates being able to restore lost loved ones to the way they appeared prior to their deaths, especially if the event was traumatic.
She also enjoys helping give people the service of their dreams.
“As long as it’s legal, we can usually make it happen if we have enough time.”
She recalls her favorite service: a memorial for an avid fisherman. The family wasn’t able to bring in his fishing gear, so Illianna’s team pulled together to transform the chapel into a mini fishing pond – complete with fishing bobbers and goldfish, a bucket, and a fishing pole on a lawn chair to tie it all together.
For Illianna, these small details are important because they bring people together over shared memories and may offer a small amount of closure during a difficult time.
“Just being able to kind of have those brief moments of human connection and shared experience is really important.”
She said, “It’s worth all the headaches and the grey hair.”
Guidance and Advice
Illianna offers advice from her years of experience.
- Aspiring funeral directors: Start out small, and don’t forget the people.
“We’d love to have you – but don’t start in mortuary school,” she says. “Definitely just start by getting your foot in the door at the funeral home – whether that be as a receptionist answering phones, as a housekeeper – just so you can learn what it is to be in that environment.”
- Families planning ahead: Talk about what you want.
“Talk about your wishes,” she advises. “It makes people really uncomfortable to have that conversation with their families, because no one wants to talk about their loved ones dying – especially not with them. But knowing what your loved one’s wishes are, even if they just write it down, is very helpful and I do recommend that.” “You can plan all you want to be as safe and comfortable at home, but you know, anything can happen.”
- Everyone: Make room for joy.
“Just try to enjoy things as much as possible,” she said. “Because you really never know.”
On a Personal Note
Outside of work, Illianna enjoys video games, lounging at home, volunteering, and helping others.
She currently has five cats – Beemo, Beerus, Champa, Dante, and Smokey.
