Friendsgiving Aids in Decolonizing Holiday

LIVING BETTER

Dinner tables today look different than they did even a year ago – especially Thanksgiving tables.

For many, this holiday is a seasonal reminder of colonial violence and systemic erasure that carries the weight of generational trauma.

For others, traditional family gatherings are reminders of oppression and abuse within the family system itself.

As we listen more intently to Indigenous voices and confront the holiday’s origins, we are reminded of the colonial myths still repeated through today’s politics, including the topics of immigration and the continued erasure of Native history.

Because of this, many are turning to new traditions – ones that feel more inclusive, community-driven, and anti-colonial.

Decolonizing the Thanksgiving table means making space for the acknowledgement of historical and familial roots and creating spaces where everyone feels comfortable, included, and safe. No matter where they’re from.

Enter: Friendsgiving, an accessible way to show gratitude and gather with loved ones without denying your truth.  

Friendsgiving as Community

Community isn’t necessarily where you were planted –it’s where you bloom. And where you can help others grow, too. Friendsgiving offers a place to practice community building in your own way.

For some, that means sharing potluck dishes with coworkers before diving into your favorite board game. For others, it means philosophical discussions over authentic meals. It’s all up to the friends at the table – that’s what makes it so special.

Why Friendsgiving Works

Friendsgiving thrives because it meets people where they are. It considers practical needs and the deeper longing for human connection.

It’s practical: often requires less travel, food costs, and considers school and work schedules

It’s Inclusive: offers a low-pressure, conflict-free gathering

It honors culture: honors community without history erasure. In this way, this gathering of friends becomes an opportunity to acknowledge the past while centering community in the present.

Perhaps most importantly, it’s safe. This is a table full of chosen family, where you know you’re wanted.

Chosen Family and Belonging

Friendsgiving is serious because it isn’t so serious. Friendsgiving says, “come as you are,” instead of bracing for political eruptions over a casserole.  

It’s community because it doesn’t demand – it invites and welcomes. It reminds us of the colorful textures and differences that make life interesting and deepen connection. And it reminds us that we don’t have to show up only for the people we grew up with; we can choose who we invite to our tables.  

In reimagining traditions and creating new rituals of friendship, we’re at once redefining family and deconstructing the table itself – one we can rebuild stronger, together.